I received a phone call this week from a friend who was struggling. He was in a “dark place.” Someone very close to him had betrayed and hurt him many years ago. He had locked this hurt, resentment, sadness and anger away. This was until a recent unrelated occurrence triggered the reminder of this betrayal, which re-lit the smoldering fire within. He couldn’t let it go. It was consuming him. It was causing problems in his relationship with others. I sat and listened. This is from a self-made man, from humble beginnings, who is a success a number of times over. He was wealthy in his pocket, yet bankrupt in his soul. He couldn’t let it go. It was eating him up from the inside. I asked him if he could forgive. His reply was that he couldn’t forgive and forget.
A few years back I saw Jon Dorenbos live on stage. This is the author of “Life is Magic” who is also an ex-NFL player and runner-up as a magician on America’s Got Talent. Many years prior, while 14 years old, this upper middle class youth had his world shattered. He lost both of his parents one day when his unfaithful father murdered his mother. His father went away for a life in prison and his mother to her grave. Jon turned his hurt, resentment, sadness and anger into successful career, as my friend had done. But, he was a prisoner of the fury deep within. He had never forgiven his father for what he had done. He would not see him for decades. This was until the birth of his first daughter. This was the catalyst to the awakening of his forgiveness of his father. For him to be the father to his daughter that his father never was for him, he had to forgive him for what he had done. He needed to forgive for HIMSELF! He needed to forgive in order to be the caring, companionate, loving, dependable father for his daughter – without the fury. Jon went and visited his father in jail and forgave him. The ultimate tale of forgiveness. Jon told this tale on stage in front of 400 business execs at the National Constitution Center. I was in the audience. There was not a dry eye in the room.
I relayed this story of ultimate forgiveness to my friend. I shared my “first” from April 1st, 2020 in my “Leap Year of Firsts.” First time in my life I gave up on a goal. The goal was to put a broken relationship back together, with a plea to forgive. I was unsuccessful. I went out to the book store and bought “Life is Magic,” as I had done back in 2020. I sent the book with a personalized request to “forgive.” I wanted my friend to forgive for HIMSELF! To let it go. For his peace of mind. The continued hurt, resentment, sadness and anger was holding him hostage. I felt like I was in a hostage negotiation with my friend to free him from himself. I pleaded… “Forgiveness is a Gift to YOUR Heart!”