I had a number of friends cancel a trip abroad next year, months away, because of the war in Israel, specifically the Gaza Strip. We were not traveling to Israel, but none the less they were worried and fearful to make the trip. The facts were that the cruise operator was not canceling the trips. They were running their excursions safely since the war broke out on October 7th. The U.S. government had not restricted travel to where we were going. They canceled because of fear and worry that something could possibly happen. The fear of the unknown. It reminded me of a book I read forty years ago when I was taking the Dale Carnegie Course. The book was “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.” Part of the Carnegie course was Public Speaking, which many people are fearful of and worry about.
The book provided a formula to follow on how to stop worrying in order to start living. Step 1: Analyze a situation causing you worry to determine the worst possible scenario if you fail. Step 2: Accept the worst possible case scenario, if it is to happen. Step 3: Focus on trying to improve the situation so that you end up with a better outcome than worst case.
I am fortunate. I was present for the last breath that my dad took as he left this earth. I held is hand on his departure. A day before, in extreme pain from the Cancer that had come back with a vengeance, he shared that… “I have lived a good life, I’m ready to go.” The gift he gave me that day allowed me to accept the worst possible scenario, if it is to happen – death. He had accepted it. He was not afraid of it. He made me not afraid of it. I don’t worry about it. It allowed me the freedom to start living. Last time I checked none of us are getting out of this life alive.
Perspective can be powerful. I respect, appreciate and understand other perspectives. My canceling friend’s perspective was one of fear and worry of the worst-case scenario, robbing them of a once in a lifetime experience that they had looked forward to. They were fearful that the war could spill over in the Middle East and Europe, and they could die. It imprisoned them in my mind. My perspective and choice were acceptance of this worst-case scenario, which freed me. I call it living like I’m dying. When I started on my “Leap Year of Firsts” my sister asked me if I was dying. In her mind trying to do something new every day, a bucket list of them, was something one would do if they had been diagnosed with a terminal disease. If you only have a short time to live you would try to experience as much as you could, while you still could, while you were still alive.
People die in car accidents every day. Does this mean we should worry about this and shouldn’t drive a car? People are shot in and unfortunately killed in schools, Synagogues, in public places or on the street every day. Does this mean we shouldn’t leave our home? Does this mean we shouldn’t travel? If you worry excessively, find productive activities that can easily distract your thought process. Keep busy. Get up and get moving — exercise is a natural way to break the cycle because it releases endorphins which relieve tension and stress, boost energy, and enhance your sense of well-being. By analyzing our worries. By embracing the worst-case scenario. By recognizing the absurdity of worry, staying busy with positive activities, and valuing what truly matters, we can break free from the chains of anxiety and experience a more fulfilling existence. Doing a first is part of this – do a FIRST!
PS. Oh, by the way, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy Chanukah… and give yourself a gift – don’t worry and live life. It’s too short.